Recently started talking to my ex and we did stuff together and mind you I’m a virgin so he was first everything I guess. I was under the impression we were exclusive or whatever because he would call me “my girl” and baby and shit. He also broke up with his year long girlfriend right before me and told me that their flame died out and he felt like it wasn’t fair to hold onto her like that. Anyway, I’m starting to really enjoy his company but yesterday and today he didn’t really hit my line but I didn’t think much of it and just now I found out he got back with his gf because I saw on her bio his initials. Idk why but I feel betrayed? Heartbroken? Idk I just feel kind of naive. Life was starting to feel really good and I was always super insecure about my appearance and he made me feel hot and cute af. He didn’t even bother to tell me he got back with his gf and I think he still wants to fuck behind her back. Not surprised because he would hml in the past while being in a relationship but back then I would turn him down. Just thought we could’ve started something because he was single and I was starting to feel chemistry? I’m aware he’s an ass and thinks with his dick. I hate the way I feel about him and I hate caring so much. Now I feel super insecure again and I feel like I can’t ever offer anything to anyone. I was really excited because we made plans for the future. I was supposed to take him to my film screening and go with him to get his first tattoo and get a birth control implant and hang out over summer break and have sex but life just sucks.

I just wanted to vent. I didn’t want to talk about this to my friends because they were really happy for me and I hate to tell them what happened. Maybe I jinxed it. Life sucks again.