my partner lost his temper...

so i posted about having twins. my partner has to sons 7 and 5. it sounds bad but i dont like his parenting skills with them as he was very young when he had them so hes more a big brother where as im more a parent. anyway he showered them and he didnt do it wrong but not my way and he didnt wash their hair and i know he didnt because 1. he hadnt touched the shampoos 2. said he used one but i know we hadnt got any 3. i was watching cos we were talking. he said im going to have to stop saying he can't do it as im going to have to let him do 2 of the 4. i then panic what if i cant handle this. i make tea, which cooking makes me as sick as anything. i start worrying if i cant look after 2 kids how do i do 2 babies. i start crying. sam is all nice and i say i wish you werent going football.....before i could finish he lost bis temper. threw his phone. slammed doors screamed in my face. i cry more. what i wanted to say to.him was i wish you werent going i cant handle this anymore. I cant do it.

I didnt want him not to go but i just wanted reassurance that i can handle the kids and i will handle twins. Now hes cancelled football, which all day he was a jerk when i said he might have to stop because i had been ill all day. So i wanted him to go so he wasnt horrid to me. So now he wont talk to me. And im sat upstairs crying and typing this. Its not as if i can have help off anyone else because people dont know.