I need help,

I have been trying for practically my whole life to lose weight , I have pcos in 5’10 190 pounds. If I don’t lose weight I won’t get pregnant. I have it in my head that once I lose the weight and get Healthier I will get pregnant as I prayed to God and asked him and might sound crazy but I just feel that’s it what I need to do to show God how much I truly want to be a mom, the thing is I can’t stay motivated. I can go without sugar and everything unhealthy except carbs! When I have a crash from carbs and the cravings start I become the biggest cunt. And it ruins whole days of eating healthy and working out because I binge eat carbs . I need any advice I can get because I feel like a complete failure!😢😪