Postpartum depression/anxiety?

Kayla • Teen Mama of two❤️ Marisela Xiomara💗 & Elias Cristan 09/01/19💙 19 years old ✨ Making it happen for my babies🤞🏽

I’ve been going through what my doctor said is anxiety and it’s been hell. I’m 17 years old and my baby girl is 3 months old, I have an amazing boyfriend, and I’m so blessed to have the perfect little family. Despite all that I still feel depressed and the anxiety is killing me. The first time this happened about a month and a half ago, all I felt was scared my chest was so tight and I had no idea why. At the time I didn’t know what was happening but it sent me into a panic attack from not knowing why I couldn’t breathe. Happened again the next day (the chest tightness) which scared me even worse and I had another severe panic attack. I had no clue what was going on so I ended up in the ER. They did heart and chest X-rays and said I was fine and it could be the flu. I knew that was false because I couldn’t breathe and my heart was racing so I made an appointment with my doctor. She prescribed me celexa. I did not do good with that. Couldn’t sleep, severe stomach pain and headaches. So I was switched to Zoloft. I have yet to take it because I’m not big on medications. I’m trying to get through this without all the numbing pills. So I thought I’d start a conversation about this since I saw no current group on it. I feel like post part in depression & anxiety it’s a big issue for new moms or moms in general. If anyone else is going through, or has gone through this. It would help a lot to talk about it! I just want to be happy again and it has gotten so much worse since the first panic attack. I feel scared of everything including life. I’ve gone through periods of depersonalization, Hopelessness and more. It’s not me at all I’m usually a very positive person but I just feel so out of it. Being around my baby really helps I love her SO much and I’ve NEVER thought of hurting her, but I’m starting to feel like a failure. I’m always tired and having trouble sleeping at night. I just feel so guilty like I’m broken but I’m suppose to be good enough to be her mom someone she looks up to. Even though she’s only a baby now I want to be better for her, myself, my boyfriend to. Anyone else going through this??