WTFFFFDO I DO?šš
So my bf and i are 18 and 19 both seniors in high school weāre going to different colleges that are quiet far from each other and imtrying to spend as much time togather now that I can. So he hasnāt had a job in like 2 years heās always broke and basically I was there for him through that before his own family was Iād buy him food caz His parent wouldnāt buy food for home I bought him the littlest shit like deodorant and body washes and shampoo. I managed to spend over 100 on his birthday. Heās never given me a gift on my birthday except the very first time he asked me to be his gf (it was my bday when he asked me) he gave me flowers š¤ but our first Valentineās Day he broke up with me the night before but got back with me like 5 days before his bday āCaz he missed meā I got with him and when his bday came I gave him gifts and all that weāre good for a while fast forward to this year he doesnāt break up but he gives me a teddy bear on vday which I appreciated it because i wasnāt expecting a gift from him then when he realized how many things i got him heās like ā oh and i bought u a bunch of chocolate but I ate themā Iām okay with it like itās okay itās fine u gave me a teddy Iām happy with it. Comes his bday like i said before I spend over a 100 dollars on him but I love him so much that I never cared about spending my money him I did it happily... because his parent doesnāt celebrate his bday theyāre a whole another story idw talk about but I tried to make it as special as possible because ik he deserves to be treated special on his special day... anyways when it comes to my bday he goes out of state with his parent and promises me heāll be back the morning of my bday so I spend my bday alone Caz my fam wasnāt here and i wasnt feeling like doing anything because this was my 18 and I wanted to celebrate with him so I stay home all day and at like 3pm heās like sorry babe we missed the flight weāl be back tmmrow so Iām like itās okay whatever cAz ihad a feeling he was gonna pull something like that anyways at this point I donāt really care and im not upset he gets a whole bunch of things for himself and facetimes me i got this I got that and Iām happy for him Caz he doesnt really shop much due to money reason and he doesnāt get me anything not even like a dollar worth of something now I dont take it to heart but I do feel some type of way when everyone in school asked me wat he get u and i didnāt know wat to say. I know yāall might think sheās so selfish but Iām not i donāt even have a job and everything I get him or got him in the past was from my saved money that my parents would give to spend in school for food but I would save up like ā oh his birthday is coming up I should start saving nowā etc etc he broke up with my a couple of weeks before our 1st year anni and on our second year he remembered but didnāt even wish me a happy 2 year every 10 minutes heād be like babe can u believe we make 2 years Iām like yeah ikr. Ik I have told him that Iām not materialistic girl wat so ever but sometimes it really bothers me. Now he finally got a job and out of nowhere Iām getting ignored tf out of during his lunch break he goes to the gym and calls me just to tell me that once he gets off work heās gonna go back to workout . Now I donāt have friends i stay away from drama as much as possible becauseIāve never had drama free chill or laid back friends so now I donāt choose to be close to girls. I spend time with him because heās also my best friend and now I stay home and do nothing I suffer from anxiety Nd depression and Iāve lost . interest in any thing I used to enjoy doing like playing tennis, reading books etc now I feel like once he starts to make money heās gonna treat me like Iām nothing and i donāt exist. Iām so frustrated idk wat to do also Iām looking for a job myself but havenāt gotten any responses from any where. But yeah Iām sorry if this is long or confusing
Side story: before I met him he was this boy that looked like he was about to blow up anytime always quiet he was going through really tough phase of his life because of his family he was also a very cold person and didnāt care about anything. He gave up easily on everything. He was a very bad kid. Like heād get into fights everyday he used to smoke talk to a lot of girls and all that hoe shit until I met him. He changed drastically his grades went up to 90s made it to the honor roll got straight 100s on his exams. He stoped smoking he got into less fights and was only focused on one girl which was me. His coaches teachers and his parent would come to me for everything regarding him because he wanted to be with me and didnāt do anything that would upset me or anything that caused problems between us.if there was a problem with someone in school or he got angry all a teacher had to do was call me and the moment heād see me heād have this big ass smile of his face heād just calm down right away and say something like ā oh hey babe we werenāt doing anything....nothing was gonna happen ....and heād just come and hug me. Idk wat it was about being with me but me being in his life and showing him love and care changed his life. His growth meant the world to me. Till this day Iām proud of him and and can proudly say Iām hisgf no matter of his past. Heās an amazing bf heās caring but itās just I donāt understand him or his motives sometimes like sometimes I feel like Iām dating two different ppl because of the way he does things.please help idk if wat I wrote makes any sense or not.
Let's Glow!
Achieve your health goals from period to parenting.