To those who need hope! ♥️

1 1/2 years ago my husband and I decided that we wanted to start trying to have another baby.

We got pregnant so easily with our first two girls that we thought within a month or two we would be announcing our third pregnancy. But after a few months I would take another test, and another and another. Negative, negative , negative. Finally I got a positive....but then I started my period. A few months went by and then I got another positive! Went to the doctor and had a healthy heartbeat..went back for multiple appointments and watched our baby roll around and hear the heartbeat. But then a few weeks later we were told that the baby had stopped developing and had no heartbeat. Our hearts were torn apart and we were devastated.

A year has past since that awful appointment and surgery.... I’ve taken prenatals every day, watched my diet, never drank (I’ve never even been a smoker.) and did everything I could to prepare my body for a healthy pregnancy. My husband took vitamins and watched his health. We are only 26... why were we not getting a healthy pregnancy? Why was it so easy before?

I’ve woken up every morning for a year to record my bbt, taken opk’s every month and more. And every month my body would trick me, deceive me into thinking I was pregnant. And every month I would lie on the bathroom floor quietly sobbing because I would be staring at another negative. Crying quietly so my girls wouldn’t hear their mama heartbroken and asking God why?!

Last month I finally called my OB back and told her that my husband and I wanted to come in for a fertility appointment. We were out of ideas of what to do. And when you so desperately want a baby... it’s all you think about.

Well this cycle I still took my opks and planned my timing and recorded my bbts. I was so use to doing this but this month I had lost hope... stopped expecting to see a positive. Well I was late today and I slept till noon. I felt like throwing up this past week. But I still didn’t think I was pregnant. Why? Because I was so use to my body torturing me. But every month at the end of my cycle, I’ll pull out one of those clear blue pregnancy tests. I did that again tonight and just sat there. And within 20 second of taking my test I got the most clear BFP I’ve ever had!

I am beyond happy right now. And on top of the happiness I am also terrified. I WANT this baby. I want this baby to survive. I want to hold him/ her in my arms and watch them grow. I don’t want to bury another one. My heart can’t handle it.

Please pray for my little baby and pray that he/she is healthy and comes into this world so that we can love him/her forever.

To all of the women out there struggling, losing faith , crying themselves to sleep and angry at their bodies for not doing what seems to be so simple for so many other people.... don’t lose hope. I know some amazing people who have been waiting for a lot longer than we have. And I know to some a year and a half isn’t very long. But I needed to see the stories of women who finally got their rainbow babies. It gave me hope. It made me realize that it can happen. God will heal those wounds that you keep asking why they happened in the first place.

Please pray for us and our pregnancy. I am over the moon. And so thankful for another opportunity. And I will pray for you all who are waiting for their miracles. It will happen.