Life.. loss?

Me and my boyfriend have had 3 1/2 years of ups and downs. This last year has been rough, we had a baby in January, moved in together at the beginning of May, we’ve had one big fight in that month of living together.

I’m starting to question his commitment to me. I guess I shouldn’t question it bc it’s right in front of me, really.

When we first met things were great but as the years went on I guess his self esteem was built up and now he says he’s not a one woman man but that for now he’s all mine.

Has pretty much straight out said that he knows he will eventually cheat on me. Has talked about interest in a woman at his work.

What the fuck am I doing here, with him.. I love this man and would do anything for him and I know he would do anything for me. Just that male sexual instincts or what? The sex is so good between us but he compares it to eating the same food every day forever.

My last relationship ended with us opening up our marriage to others as a last attempt to try something new and stay together but now we are divorced. I know I’m just a one man type of girl at the end of the day. Why am I being stupid with my heart. Things are good, but just him saying those things makes me sad. I know that when he does cheat he will say something stupid like “I told you I would and you still stayed”.