How to start enjoying mommyhood more?

My beautiful son is nine months old. It scares me to death him getting older. I’m scared for some reason he won’t love me. That he won’t listen to me and I’ll be to nice to correct his behavior later on. I feel like I don’t enjoy it nearly as I should with some much other stressors. Advice on how to enjoy it more? I try and I’m trying to make myself enjoy it more. Please nonnegative comments. I just want ideas.