Girls, I found out I was pregnant while I was traveling this last week. I was shocked because I was so sick from food poisoning the week before (like hospitalized sick) and also we've been trying for so long I just wasn't expecting anything. I was actually planning to do <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IVF</a> first week of July. Anyway, I tell my husband and try to be as cautious about everything - food, carrying heavy things and stress - as possible. The last day we were together it was just the two of us and his temper was through the roof. We were touring around and I had to disappear for an hour to deal with flight stuff - left him in a bar while I sat outside on the phone with the travel agent. At the end of that hour he was drunk'ish. We decided to go get dinner as we were both starving. On the way to dinner, I see a Zara and ask if I can pop in quickly to grab a tank top as my shirt was slightly see through. I knew exactly what I needed, it was meant as a quick stop. He got so furious, he stormed out and left me there. He had my wallet, our hotel key and my phone charger. At this point it was like 8pm so my phone was very low on battery. I didn't have our new hotel address but knew roughly the area it was in. I decided to wait ten minutes and then use what was left of my battery to get an uber back to the Opera area where our hotel was near. So for the next 10 min I shop around. He comes back and was like sorry I had to go to the bathroom. I grab my wallet and explained that he stomped off with all my stuff with no indication of where he was going or if he'd even come back. I let it go, we continue to dinner. On the way, he's complaining about how I ruined our trip. He would not let the Zara thing go and complained the entire way to the restaurant. When we get to the restaurant I notice that it specializes in things I can't eat - raw fish and stuff so I asked if we could find another place near by. He gets angry again. We sit at the bar across the way and he just went mental - totally lost his temper - and stormed out again. Leaving me with his tab, not saying he was coming back. At this point, I decided to just have dinner alone. He's drunk, being horrible and I need protect my peace of mind or I'll get angry and this will turn into a fight. So I leave and find a beautiful restaurant to have dinner alone. After dinner, I text him and let him know I'm tired and would like to go to the hotel and rest and that I also have no battery on my phone. He refuses to give me the room key or my charger. So I said, fine, with the little battery I have left I will get an uber and I'm sure the doorman will help me charge my phone while I wait in the lobby for you. It's quite late at this point, like 11pm and he wanted to stay out exploring that side of town. Anyway, I get my uber and sure enough my battery dies just as the car arrived. Back at the hotel, this is where things went REALLY bad. In the room he was screaming at me saying I ruined our trip he was throwing my clothes at me and calling me a f'ing bitch on repeat. I kept walking out of the room to breathe and calm myself but I was shaking and trembling, my heart was racing - I could feel it pulsing in my belly and my ears. I thought he was going to hurt me, I was SO scared of him... he was drunk and angry and his rage was through the roof. I said absolutely nothing to him - I was so scared he'd attack me physically. I was trying to pack and he was like "I don't give a fuck what your doing turn the fucking lights off." f you f you f you bitch, everyone hates you, your this, your that, you can't do anything, you don't know anything... the onslaught of insults was something else and relentless. He also would still not give me my charger so my phone was dead with all my boarding passes etc on it. I had to make a decision to extend my stay, alone, or catch our flight in a few hours. He was making it impossible. At the last minute, I decided to fly home. At the airport I felt a gush of something and thought OMG I'm loosing the baby... but it was okay, no blood. On arrival he goes to work. Around 4pm he texts me that his "mate" is in town and he's taking his "mate" to dinner. Turns out, his "mate" is his ex girlfriend but in his eyes it was fine bc we are married and I'm pregnant. I told him to go, but that I wouldn't be home after his dinner - I said I was uncomfortable with it and after the night before enough is enough. At this point, I'm just done inside. How much more can you take the piss out of our relationship? Something happened in those 24 hours I just can't get past. Being pregnant and carrying his child, sitting on the floor and having my things thrown at me and being called a fucking bitch on repeat for two hours... it just broke me/us and I don't think I'll ever see him the same way again. I was trying so hard to be calm for the baby, to protect the pregnancy but I was terrified and just so disappointed he was behaving so abusively towards me the first days of pregnancy. How can he treat me like that, especially when his baby is inside me? I don't know what it was that day but... I feel like he ruined our relationship and I've been so upset with him since. I've been keeping my distance. And, a few days after all this, we started loosing the baby too. I know these things are common in early pregnancy but I can't help but blame it on him and wonder what if.... I am seriously considering leaving him now. I shouldn't feel like I have to protect myself and our baby from him.I'm scared of him raging on me again while pregnant and even worse later when there are children in the house. This is not the first time he's lost his temper with me but I never thought he'd take it that far while I was pregnant with his baby....heart broken we are going through this loss... I feel so alone but also like the only right thing to do now is to leave. He refuses councelling... but even with a counselor it just feels like too much to try to fix. What hope is there?