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I don’t know really how to describe it. I’m not happy but I’m not exactly sad either, it’s like I’m E M P T Y. One minute I’m good, laughing with my friends, having fun. Then another it hits me all at once I get really sad and I convince myself no one likes me I don’t have any friends. I don’t know why I do that think all these bad things. I think apart of me knows it’s true while the other doesn’t want to believe, I feel like I’m in WWIII, a battle between myself. And it sucks really freaking sucks cause I want to be happy I try to be happy. I try to always keep a smile on my face no matter how I’m feeling cause I don’t want anyone to know. I just want to be happy again, I want the old me, the fun me, no problems me but I don’t know how to get her back. I’ll be in a crowd and still feel alone. I feel like I live in Texas but population 1. I don’t really know when this all began but I know I’ve been feeling like this for a while. It could’ve started when my parents split up, or when I stopped living with my mom for a while, or even with my best friend of 14 years started ditching, yep my best friend of 14 freaking years has been ditching me, and at first I didn’t know why I thought it was cause she got a boy friend but I think it’s just cause I’m well.. me. my other friend of 10 years has been well kinda putting me off, I go to her house every day but she kinda just reads and listens to music. I’ve told her that I don’t like when she does that but she hasn’t stop and one day she called me boring and ik that doesn’t sound bad but It was to me. That’s all I think about now is that maybe that’s the reason I’m losing my friends is because I’m boring, and kinda mean I don’t try to be though it’s just how I come off.