Hey babes! Sorry I’m just coming in here to vent because my thoughts are keeping me up.

I wouldn’t say i have depression, i just allow little things to get to me here and there. Recently i have been feeling SO ALONE. I broke ties with my best friend around New Years, and a couple days ago i cut ties with my so called “boyfriend”. First my ex best friend. She was literally like my sister, we just started to drift apart, and when we hung out it felt like we were forcing ourselves to be friends. I for some reason went into a dark hole. I became such a angry soul (I was NEVER like this). It just hurts not being able to tell someone how i am exactly feeling, and just bottling things up. I miss her, but i even had a feeling that this year our friendship would end.

On the other hand, (you’re going to think I’m so stupid lol) i was in a REALLLLLLY toxic long distance relationship. We were basically at each other’s throats 24/7 because we didn’t trust one another. Yet, he made me so happy. We would FaceTime 24/7, joke and laugh. We were together for about 2 years, so we knew each other really well. This guy was so controlling and possessive over me. The thing is i would have never done ANYTHING to hurt him. Yet he’s cheated, called me horrible names, and even threatened my own life. I literally did anything to overlook the bad in him (how dumb, i know!). We finally broke up a couple days ago, Thursday to be exact, just because he asked for screenshots of my Snapchat, instagram DM’s, and my text messages. He lost it when he saw my guy friends (LITERALLY JUST FRIENDS) were the most recent to send me snap streaks. Honestly, we when broke up i was fine. It was just that i missed being able to call someone at any given moment and they’ll pick up. P.s. the only time he ever really crosses my mind is when i come home from work. We would FaceTime until we fell asleep. I just really want a new crowd of friends, but at the same time i feel i should learn to value my own company.