New focus


In February, I was surprised to find out I was pregnant. My husband and I weren't "trying" but we made the decision in July to "pull the goalie" and see what happened. We were so excited and happy for what the year had in store. At 6wk4d I miscarried and it was the saddest experience my husband and I have had together. We couldn't believe how attached we could be to something so quickly. For the next 4 weeks, I went to the doctor to have blood drawn to track my HCG level back to less than 5. I decided I didn't want to start trying again until I had a period. Once AF showed up for the first time since the MC, I was obsessively tracking CM, CP, physical symptoms etc. The only intercourse we were having was on a schedule, which wasn't fun or sexy. I was nit picking every cramp and headache and assumed I "must be pregnant this time." Once I got to around 12dpo, I was taking pregnancy tests daily, all BFN, until AF reared her ugly head. After two months of this, I decided I needed to do something for myself, my mental health, and my relationship with my husband.

I decided to sign up and train for a half marathon. The farthest I have ever run is about 4 miles. Currently, I'm running about 2.5 miles at a time. I've been training for about a month and I can already feel a change in my mood, my focus, and my mental health. I'm also not worrying about when I'm ovulating, when AF might show or what that cramp might mean. Instead I think about when I can go run and when I can spend meaningful time with my husband.

To those of you TTC and getting frustrated with the science of it all, I encourage you to step back and do something for YOU. Your well being is more important than anything in this world. Take care of you. 😘