A Talk About Mental Health

I feel like, even though everyone says that we need to talk about it more, mental health is one of the most brushed over things that there is.

In my experience, my family have taught me to believe that mental health is a made up thing. You’ll get over it, it will get better. But no, here I am. 5 years later, and I haven’t gotten over it, it hasn’t gotten better, in fact it has gotten worse and I’m struggling more than ever.

My mum drilled in to my brain from a young age that people that self harm are doing it for attention.

For my friends that have struggled with self harming, I’ve done everything in my power to support them and get the help they need. But me? I’m so scared of my mum finding out I stopped self harming and found another form of self destruction. One that doesn’t meet the eye.

You see, I had a boyfriend until a few months ago. He left me for someone else. He knew I was constantly down, but he never checked on me. I even hinted to him once that I felt like ending it all because I needed everything to just stop. He responded ‘Don’t be so silly, you don’t feel like that’ Don’t I? Because in fact I do. I’m feeling numb inside and useless and like you don’t care and the only thing on my mind is ‘How can I be so scared of death but crave it so much’

You see they say ‘It will get better’ and then they think that they’ve done their work and they’ve fixed you. They just get to forget about it. Because they don’t feel what you’re feeling so it must not be true. But what will it take for people to understand that millions of people do feel this way. A dead body? Millions of dead bodies.

Mental Health needs to be acknowledged. It can’t be swept under the rug any longer. Because people who feel like they are a danger to themselves struggle to ask for help. So when they start to tell us how they’re feeling, we need to make them feel like there is a way out of feeling like this that doesn’t cost them their life.