Confused

My whole life I’ve been the “skinny girl” and people thought I was happy. Well I wasn’t. I always dreamed of gaining weight. And recently I did. Ive gained 40lbs since getting on birth control over Xmas. Yea that’s a lot in a short time. And my BF loves it, my butt is plump and round now.

Now to the way I’m feeling. I don’t think I like being “thick” just to make my man happy. I want to be “slim thick” which is impossible. But I’ve somehow achieved it.

I just don’t like my arms being big now. I want to be happy but now I think I’m just making my bf happy and not myself.