Let me go ahead and apologize for how long this will be. But I could really use some advice and this is the only place I feel anyone will understand.

Valentine's day, my husband and welcomed our 3rd daughter. (we each have one from our first marriages) The night we found out we we're expecting was such a happy night. We had only been married for 3 weeks but had been ttc for 3 years. My pregnancy was rough, I spotted and bled throughout the whole 9 months, but she is absolutely perfect.

Our sweet girl is now 4 months old and I found out Monday I was 5 weeks pregnant. This time was so different. I wasn't happy, I was scared. How was I supposed to have a new baby so soon? How was I supposed to take care of 4 kids? Our car can't even fit 4 kids... What if Willow isn't ready? Everything went through my mind.

My husband was just as thrilled as he was the first time. He hugged me as I was crying kissed me and then kissed my belly.

I called my sister because I knew she'd understand how I felt, she only 14 months older so at least she'd know how Willow would eventually feel. She did the whole "Awe, im so happy" and "they'll be close like us" and "I have 4 kids, you're gonna be ok".

And I started to feel like maybe they were right. Being scared is normal. And even though it was gonna be hard, I wasn't doing it alone. So I could be scared and happy, right? I let it sink it for another day and ended up telling my best friend like 3 seconds before my soon to be 13 year old walked in with the (hidden) test. Thank goodness she didn't find the other 3... nosey child. I talked to her and to my surprise she was very happy. She wasn't so much with our daughter, being as she went from being the only child at 8 years old, to the oldest of 5 at 12. (He dad has 2 sons, and they were pregnant with the youngest when I got pregnant last year).

Again, everything is gonna be fine... And then I was really excited. We're gonna have another baby. Wednesday night my older brother called t