depressed

I am 27 weeks I have a 8month old and a 4 year old. i dont know what is wrong with me. I am so numb to everything, there is no excitement, no joy, nothing but sadness and self-hate. I am terrified that I am not going to be able to give this next baby the same amount of attention and love that she deserves becuase of my 8m old and I don't want my 8month old to feel left behind or neglected. the 4 year old is already having a hard time with 1 baby I can't imagine what is going to be like with 2. my body just hurts all the time, getting out of bed, up from a chair, walking nothing relieves it. to top it all off I am feeling like a right shitty wife, housekeeper, mom. it's feels like I am stretched too thin like not enough butter over too much bread. I dont eat, I cant sleep, but everything still has to be done. i dont even know where i was going with this....

I cannot afford a therapist, never mind that I dont have the time.

hubby helps when he can but he works such long hard hours so that I can stay home with the kids I cannot ask any more from him. I have everything I ever wanted out of life but I still feel this way... how do I make it stop?