Toxic traits 🚨✴️

Ive been with my s/o for about 6 months now and hes more then amazing, hes the most wonderful person ive met. really.

but hes got some big flaws, and im hoping my experience and advise can help someone!

1) We often are keeping a “scorecard”

- A relationship scorecard is when one (or both) of you are constantly bringing up and using mistakes from the past against eachother.

- Mike Manson’s article on “6 Toxic relationship habits people think are normal” states: “The relationship scorecard develops over time because one or both people in a relationship use past wrongdoings in order to try and justify current righteousness. This is a double-whammy of suckage. Not only are you deflecting the current issue itself, but you’re ginning up guilt and bitterness from the past to manipulate your partner into feeling wrong in the present.”

- If you find this to be true, unless an issue is reoccurring (such as cheating). uyou (or your s/o) need to deal worh this ON YOUR OWN! You must realize that chosing to be with your s/o means you accept them for all of them. YES ! this includes the mistakes thayve made in the past.

2) Blaming your partner for your own emotions

- Expecting your s/o drop everything they’re doing all the time due to YOUR lousy emotional state. Ex: Just because i have plans tonight and have been caught up doing work all day is no excuse for you to lash out on me because “i havent been paying attention to you.” or “i should notice when somethings wrong”. Handling your own emotions is key for a healthy happy relationship. This is a prevelent yet subtle form of selfishness, and a great example of poor matinence of personal boundires.

- “What You Should Do Instead: Take responsibility for your own emotions and expect your partner to be responsible for theirs. There’s a subtle yet important difference between being supportive of your partner and being obligated to your partner. Any sacrifices should be made as an autonomous choice and not seen as an expectation. As soon as both people in a relationship become culpable for each other’s moods and downswings, it gives them both incentives to hide their true feelings and manipulate one another.” - Mark Manson

I hope i helped someone! Give these articles a read, theyre interesting and vey helpful.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/markmanson.net/toxic-relationship-habits/amp

https://www.google.com/amp/s/markmanson.net/are-you-an-emotional-vampire/amp