Y’all 😰😭 just need someone to talk to.. 💔

I can’t explain this feeling. Utter heartbreak but at the same time I know deep down this is the path I haveto take from now on 😞 ITS A LITTLE LONG BUT

Here’s a little bit about my situation. Hopefully brief! I am happily married to a very hard working man. Who rarely takes days off and goes in to work with a fever. (In comparison to my family)

Two years ago on our wedding day my mom got trashed and got a dui, got arrested and went to jail. Left my younger siblings for us to take care of. We drove them from out “honeymoon” suite back home, didn’t get to bed until 6 am. A few days later mom called begging for 6k to pay off her dui. A few weeks before that she was telling me how she just couldn’t find any way to pay my aunt back the 34k that she borrowed. And oh well. Her words. So ofcoarse I said no to the 6k! Skip forward one year. In between that time mom called about 6 times to ask for money. And every time I said no. And every time she thought I hated the family and was ungrateful. Now. Skip forward to my birthday in May. Hubs and I drove 12 HRs from Cali to wa to celebrate my birthday with the family. The whole time there my family ridiculed my husband how we didn’t have any money like we think we do. the truck he just bought really wasn’t the model hubs was saying it was. (Husband saved for years for this truck) they made fun of my starting out business as a photographer. Laughed. And finally on the actual day of my birthday I cooked all night and cleaned while my mom got wasted. My little brother took the whole week off from work to “be with sister” then blamed my husband that he didn’t have money because we are here, blamed him because my husband refused to buy him a 80$ cape pen. I just lost it at the end of the night. Haven’t cried this hard since I had my ectopic pregnancy procedure. We ended up leaving to stay in a nearby hotel and left the next day. Skip forward a few weeks ago I finally called my dad and he told me basically I was over dramatic emotional dumb young little child and I should apologize to mom for disrespecting her in front of “his guests” y’all my brother is a druggy living in their house and he walked out with a red welt in his arm with blood coming out of it. And a rope mark around his arm. That wasn’t disrespectful I guess. So skip forward to tonight. My sister started spreading nasty rumors about me to my relatives because this is what she does when she doesn’t get her way: she wants me to apologize to mom. I just can’t speak with her right now I’m so hurt. So she blocked me everywhere and now because of the rumors the 3 close cousins I did communicate with have blocked me too. I have never felt more heartbreak and betrayal in my life. What am I supposed to do? How do I live without any family? And the things they say about my husband y’all. It just hurts my damn soul. I know deep down my family and I are just no good together. But it’s painful and I can’t explain it any other way. But I know this is right. I can’t sleep. I don’t even know. I just needed to tell somebody. My husband is out of state for work. And I’ve never felt more alone. 💔 all I wanted from my mom was to just be present. Chat. Cook together with our little aprons on lol share a glass of wine. I just needed my mom to be a mother. That’s what really hurts. I have AMAZING inlaws, and that makes me feel better. They have never met my family and they probably never will.