Pregnant & sad

I’m so fuckin miserable, I don’t even wanna be pregnant anymore. I’m always in pain, tired and just irritated all the damn time. & I’m only in my first trimester. Then to top it off last night, my child’s father came out of nowhere talkin about how he thinks I cheated on him multiple times back in 2013. Like for one, no I didn’t and two, wtf does 5 years ago have to do with now? Talkin about, you broke up with me after you had our daughter and then you were talkin to someone else. (I had multiple reasons as to why I broke up with him, we had been on & off the whole pregnancy) Mind you, this all came about after we were just hugged up and cuddled and kissing. Like wtf?! Then gon say, if this is gon be a pattern then I don’t want any part of it. Wtf do you mean? We’re together, we’re not broken up, this pregnancy was planned and you told me you were excited. But after hearing this, I feel like that was a lie. You don’t even trust me, you think I’m probably already talking to someone else and you think that once I have this baby I’m gonna break up with you. WHY WOULD YOU PLAN A pregnancy WITH ME IF YOU THINK IM GOING TO LEAVE YOU????!!!!!! That shit really hurt my feelings like dude, that was 5 fucking years ago! We were in a completely different space at that time & a lot was going on. He’s always bringing up old shit to throw in my face but let me do it and I’m wrong and living in the past smh.... I don’t even feel like he loves me, he’s not engaged with this pregnancy (which after the bullshit he said last night I see why). I thought we were doing ok, I thought things were going good and then he hits me with that. 😔 I just cried myself to sleep. Idk what to do, what to think, or even how to tell him how that made me feel without it turning into an argument of him making me feel like shit even more.

7/12/18 UPDATE- So last night as we were laying down I asked him, “Do you love me?” He says “Yeah, why?” And I proceeded to ask him why he would bring up what he said & if he felt that way then why would he plan a pregnancy with me? He spazzed tf out and turned it into an argument. Calling me a bitch, screaming, throwing stuff, hitting walls, yelling in my face. He argued with me for hours. Telling me all the negative shit he feels about me, then told me twice to abort the baby if I feel some type of way. Then I recently quit my job (that I’ve only been at for about a month) because I’ve been having so many problems w/ this pregnancy. The baby is fine but I’m always tired, severe back pain, cramps, sore feet, etc. All the “normal” side effects of pregnancy but I was just unable to keep up and even my boss understood and said I’m re-hirable. He goes on to tell me that it has nothing to do with my pregnancy as to why I’m having these problems, it’s because I’ve been doing nothing but sitting on my ass for the past couple months while I’ve been in school and that my doctor didn’t say I couldn’t work so it’s not that I can’t, it’s that I don’t want to. He just continued to go on and on about how I’m this and that and I’m lazy and he doesn’t see why I quit and just making me feel like shit. I broke up with him last night but we live together and when I woke up he was gone but all his stuff is still there. I’m currently at my parents house because I didn’t wanna be there when he got back but I just wanted to vent. I’m really hurt that he can’t get over the past and that he could care less about what I’m going thru physically while carrying his child.