Not forcing kids to share?

Question

I was reading the other day about parents who don’t make their children share, and it got me thinking.
Is it really a fair expectation for a 1 year old to have to share their things?
Can they truly grasp the meaning of ownership at that level of their development?
As adults, we don’t really share a lot of our things, so why is it that we ask it of children when they are so little? 
I want to teach Cai the importance of generosity, but I want him to find his way there himself. I hope he sees us being kind, and follows in our steps. I’d rather he did something nice on his own, than do so to win our applause/attention.
Also, I wouldn’t want him to grow up thinking that everyone is on board with sharing. He needs to respect boundaries and understand that he is not entitled to anyone else’s possessions. If they want to share, they will, but they don’t have to.
Thoughts?

Answer

Rather than sharing we focus more on taking turns. “Right now it’s your turn for 2 more minutes and then ___ gets to have a turn!” I feel like it’s gentler than “you need to share that with him right now” but I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️

Answer

Such an interesting topic. One of my step sisters gives a grace period. So if one of her kids gets a new toy they have like 3 months of it to themselves unless they invite their sibling to play along. I was at a splash park the other day with my 15 month old. A 2.5 year old came up and took his toy dinosaur from the group next to my son. His mom saw, he played with the dino for 20 minutes until my son saw and signed "please" bc he wanted it back. My son ended up grabbing the dinosaur since obviously the other kid didn't know he was asking please and I just let him pull on it until he got it back. I don't go out and exprct to share my things with strangers, why should my kid? Especially when it was just taken from him in the first place. Idk 🤷‍♀️

Answer

i agree and for the most part i dont believe forcing them teaches them to share i think the best way to teach that is by example like offer others and your baby some of your stuff as much as possible. maybe find some kids books on it

Answer

I work with 1yo’s. They don’t understand sharing so I can’t expect it of them. That doesn’t mean that we don’t explore the idea ... but I don’t honestly expect them to happily hand over their baby doll anytime soon.

Answer

Depends on the circumstances.
I read somewhere if you teach your kid empathy, they are more likely to share (when appropriate).  An example would be your 3 yr old sees his older brother playing with his toy.  The 3 year old snatched the toy (even though it hasn’t been played with at all recently).  You talk to your 3 year old about how snatching the toy away makes big brother sad and demonstrate how to take turns.
The article did say most kids don’t have the impulse control to execute automatic sharing until they are 6-7.

Answer

also to add i have twin 1 and a half year olds and i think thats too young to understand sharing

Answer

I don’t force my daughter to share per se. But she also can’t just take toys away from other kids just because they’re playing with it   I try to get her to take turns best I can but as a kid who just turned 2 she doesn’t quite get it 
I do not force her to share/take turns with her cabbage patch baby   It’s her comfort item so I just tell other kids no sorry that’s hers

Answer

I think children should share and take turns in a public setting...daycare, school, park equipment...but they shouldn’t have to share their personal things with others.

Answer

I don’t teach my students (toddlers) that they have to share but rather that it’s kind and nice. I teach them to ask first and if the person says no then they have to wait. If a child is purposefully hoarding all the cars just to not let others play thats a little different and I will tell them that the cars are for everyone and to let others play with the ones they aren’t using, but at home if my child doesn’t want to share what belongs to him thats his choice completely. My mom forced me to share my new toys at my bday parties and other kids sometimes broke them and ruined my whole day.

Not forcing kids to share?

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