Waxing/Shaving/Down There

So I'm feeling pretty self conscious about my vulva's appearance. I struggle with ingrown hairs a lot so I wax instead of shave. I hate having to let it grow out first to wax it again but that's just what's gotta happen. I'm currently at it's almost longest point, too soon to wax again though, but I'm planning on getting laid this weekend for the first time with a new guy. I'm not only worried about it being too long but it's also just been kinda irritated-looking down there (not an STD for sure, just not smooth and kinda pinkish). I'm super self conscious about it and don't want him to be grossed out or something. I think I just need to hear that it doesn't matter or that guys shouldn't care or something. Anything/any words to help me feel comfortable in my own skin?