Can someone help me understand something?

Question

I might get some push back for this but honestly I’m just trying to understand. And the reason I’m even thinking about this is because of all the posts I see on here about this type of thing. 
If a woman knows up front that a man is a batterer (he’s been verbally or physically abusive towards her before), or that they’re an active drug user, or something alone those lines... then why do they want to try to conceive with them?
Before you say anything: yes I’ve been in those types of relationships before, and so I get why some women stay. But to actively try to bring a child into that is something completely different, no? Do people think the child will change the man?
I mean no hate or disrespect to anyone out there that I may be describing. Just genuinely curious.

Answer

I’ve personally spoken to women in the past who admit they get addicted to the attention afterwards. Once a man has an abusive episode, a lot of times he will spend days trying to “make it up” and they like this attention. Not saying that’s always the case but for some women it is.

Answer

Sometimes they don’t realize how bad of a person he is, brain washing plays a part in it

Answer

Usually they truly believe that man will change and everything will be great once the baby is here but it never is. Some people think a baby will “fix” it. Men like that are very manipulative and the women tend to not be thinking in their right mind.

Answer

Sometimes people in these types of relationships find it the norm to accept abuse because it may be all they’ve ever known.. witnessing DV from their parents.. I think it’s a lack of knowledge, immaturity, stupidity, and no self respect, or low self-esteem.. selfishness.. 
When I was 17 I was with this guy and thought about getting pregnant.. pretty dumb. Everything in hindsight is so clear.. lol. He was verbally abusive, and knew he could get physically abusive. He already had a child.. I think it was the jealousy that he had a child with someone else, that I wanted my own and I wanted to keep him in my life. I had a pretty chaotic/traumatic upbringing, so I was screwed up. Anyway.. he made a comment that I wouldn’t make a good mother. So from that point on I didn’t want kids with him.. years and years down the line he was more abusive then I could’ve imagined.. every type of abuse imaginable.. even when he was ‘ready’ for a child with me.. I told him no.. I realized that I didn’t want to have him in my life indefinitely.. I knew I didn’t want to stay in the relationship.. I knew if I had a child with him, I’d be stuck with him.. even when I got pregnant, he begged me to keep it.. said we would figure it out. I refused to bring a child into that situation. So I had an abortion.. it still haunts me to this day. So conflicted on if it was the right choice. I think it was.. but it still makes me sad to abort an innocent fetus that would have been my child. But he was a monster.. 
So In a way I kind of get why some women make those choices.. they don’t know any better.. their intellectual development is stunted and they don’t do anything to better their situation. Some even feel like a child/person of their own would better their situation. but then again I judge them because they have the choice to brake that cycle. As I went through college, and talked to therapists, etc.. I realized my whole life was fucked up and I was the only one with the power to change it. I realized you have to respect yourself and love yourself first before committing to someone else.. know your boundaries and values and settle for less than what you expect and want..
I get upset when I see these posts too, and I will call them out on it. More so to wake them up and say hey, value yourself! Love yourself! Stop with your excuses! Because I see a part of myself in them and I wish someone would’ve said it to me..

Can someone help me understand something?

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