My husband and I have been together for 4 years and the only thing we struggle with in our marriage is sex.

We both want it, but we never do it! We talk about it often and try to improve but it feels like nothing changes.

My side: I feel like I’m not attractive, especially more with being 33 weeks pregnant. I feel huge and fat and it’s hard for me to move around. And he will say things like, “I can’t wait until you’re not pregnant,” and that makes me feel like he doesn’t like me because I’m pregnant. I try to show affection by touching his arm, or trace my fingers up and down his neck. And I’m always big spoon. But I haven’t been little spoon for a long time. Even since before I got pregnant. But when we lay in bed I put my phone away and try to just give him attention but he usually just plays games on his phone and I just feel ignored. He says he wants me to dress up and look sexy (🙄 it’s hard when I look and feel like I’m about to pop) and he wants me to initiate sex.

His side: He says he feels like there is a sexual wall up between us. He isn’t sure if I’m uncomfortable with sex, or shy. But he says he feels like I don’t need him sexually and he doesn’t want to ask for favors. But he won’t drop hints because he wants me to just do it without him feeling like he’s asking.

We’ve always struggled with this and We don’t know what we can do to fix it. We have sex like once every 2-4 weeks but we each masturbate pretty much daily.

Any advice? Please and thank you.