Would you leave the man you love and want to spend your life with if he didn’t want to get married?

Question

I am with a man I love very much. He is my best friend and we have a wonderful life together. We want to spend our life together but he doesn’t want to get married. 
He is 100% committed to me but he just thinks marriage is an outdated concept that isn’t required in this day and age. 
I have always wanted to get married and have even planned parts of my wedding (nothing booked, just a kickass Pinterest board and some vendors phone numbers saved in my phone). I think I’m going to have to accept the fact that I may never get married. But I don’t want to become resentful in the future that I missed out on something I really wanted. 
But I really don’t want him marrying me just because I want it. I want him to want it as much as I do. 
What would you do?

Answer

So my now husband didn’t ever plan on getting married when we met, like your boyfriend he just saw it as a piece of paper and never really saw the point of it. BUT that said, he married me because he knew it was important to me, and it was something I wanted. I would urge you not to discount that. The whole attitude of “I want it to be as important to him as it is to me” seems a bit like a fantasy IMHO. I saw it as here is a guy that wants to be committed to me, and to spend his life with me, but the whole marriage ceremony isn’t something he thinks is important, however he is still willing to do it because it’s important to me... I think that’s pretty great. Plus we both had a blast at our wedding! Just something to think about. If he’s really the one for you, then don’t throw out the whole relationship based on a difference of opinion especially if he is willing to give you what you want

Answer

I wouldn’t, I would ask we be married in Gods eyes because I am Roman Catholic and very religious ,I don’t care about being married in the governments eyes just Gods

Answer

Thank you everyone for your comments. My SO and I talk a LOT about our relationship and marriage. He told me tonight that he will marry me, but I still don’t know how I would feel if/when he proposes, knowing that he is only doing it for me. 
He has told me in the past that he thinks deciding to have children with someone is a bigger commitment than marrying someone and I am the person he wants to have kids with so he is already 100% committed to me. We also have a very strong opinion our family staying together. 
I genuinely want to spend my life with him. I’m not going to leave him to get married to someone else, because it is my partner in particular I want to exchange vows with. I just wanted to know what other people would do in my situation. 
He told me tonight that we are already committed to each other and we’re going to have a family together so we ‘might as well get married because whether we have the certificate or not it doesn’t make a difference to our relationship. 
I’m just so confused. I honestly thought that when I met the man of my dreams he would want to marry me. 😔 I think I watched too many rom-com’s growing up 🙄.

Answer

I don’t want to get married, so of course I would stay. However, if it was flipped and he DID want to get married, I would not. You need to think about how important gettin married is to you. Is it important enough to be a deal breaker?

Answer

I don't know, growing up I never wanted to get married always thought why do i need a piece of paper to say I love someone. but when I meet my (now) husband I knew I wanted to get married. Being his wife has made me soo unbelievably happy. 
I think you need to think hard and look deep into your soul then decided what's best and will make you happy in the long run.

Answer

I'm one that's always wanted to get married but if my partner said he didn't believe in it but still wanted to stay committed to me and spend our lives together I wouldn't be that bothered. All marriage is is a certificate and ceremony of proof saying you are legally together. It's not something that needs to be done and you'll save a shit load of money for other things like a holiday or buying a house if you don't have one. I'm glad you're not one of those women who say if you won't marry me I'm done with you. It's really refreshing to see some maturity in this post. 
You never know either he may change his mind in the future, sounds like you're in a great relationship that doesn't need the reassurance of marriage it sounds pretty strong already.

Answer

Personally it wouldn’t bother me. I do want the dress and everything but for me the man would be more important. Is he definitely 100% against the idea? To be honest if you’re having to ask this questions then I think you already have your answer.

Answer

I guess it depends how important it is to you. I always wanted to get married, and I don’t really believe in having a family until marriage. So it would be a dealbreaker for me.

Answer

If something happens to him or you and you’re not married you’ll not have the choice to “pull the plug” or any other decisions medically. His family can fight you for his life insurance and win because you’re not legally his wife and vice versa with your family and him. Taxes, buying cars, buying a house... all these things are easier married if you’re going to be together anyways.

Would you leave the man you love and want to spend your life with if he didn’t want to get married?

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