i’ve recently been talking to this guy. he’s 20 and i’m 19. he is literally the SWEETEST guy and treats me SO well. i’ve secretly met him two times and he’s been nothing but respectful and just a genuinely great guy. i’ve never felt so happy and he just makes me feel so confident and comfortable and actually cares about my day and wants to know everything and actually asks questions unlike my ex. he works so hard and farms full time. he’s everything i’ve looked for.

the problem is.. he has 2 kids (one is almost 2 and the other is 4 months) my mom DOES NOT approve of him having kids. they are with the same mom and him and the kids mom had been together forever. the first was a mistake and they got back together and she lied about taking her BC (bring in baby #2) he basically has them full time except when she’ll take them. he stepped up and supports and cares for them. my mom tried to yell at me and tell my i am not allowed to be more than friends with him. she went on about it’s not what she wants she wants me with someone with no kids and all that. she also brought up that it’s not a smart choice and i need a better head on my shoulders. my aunt who has a grandson who is about to become a step dad said that i need someone to knock some sense into me. i’ve never been so hurt or upset by them.

i work full time and pay all my own things i just live with my mom. i take care of adults with developmental disabilities and my mom thinks i would drop it for him but i love my job so much i wouldn’t drop it for a guy or anything. i’ve helped out with my friends who have kids which she approves of my being friends with them. i’ve seen myself as a mom but i cant really picture myself actually having kids. i’ve really thought about this and i’m so willing to do anything i can for this guy and his kids. i’m so torn because i want nothing more than her support.

i know what it is like to have a step parent or someone else in my dads life as i’ve had multiple step moms. i understand what it takes and the team work. i’m so willing to take on this relationship with him and his kids. i absolutely love children and i always do what i can for my friend and her little girl. (my friend is 20 and her daughter is 2)

i am so torn. he makes me utterly happy but the fact my mom and the rest of her family probably will not approve just makes it hard. one of my cousins and my best friends don’t see anything wrong with it. they want me to be careful but i have their full support.

any advice/ help?? 😓

*i guess i should add i have talked to him about this and he understands where she is coming from about the kids but he is willing to go thru it until she supports this. he understands what i am about to take on and knows it’s a huge step, a huge thing.*