Terrified and my doctors refuse to talk to me

I’m expected to deliver early due to Cholestasis in about 4 weeks although my doctors won’t give me a specific date. As frustrating as that is (because it’s not a situation where she could stay in longer, they know she has to be out by 37 weeks so I feel there should be a plan) I’ve accepted that I don’t know what to expect as far as a date.

However, with delivery looming in 4 weeks and as a FTM, I’m getting so anxious and honestly afraid for delivery. My doctors refuse to even talk to me about a birthplan, whether we’ll be trying for vagina or csection (due to hsv), if I’d like medication and how it will be controlled, how I’ll be induced. NOTHING. I know things can absolutely go outside of the plan but, from all my books and experience from other ladies, should the doctor and I at least have the conversation to ease some of my fears and set up expectations?

I obviously have never been through labor or delivery before and the anxiety gets worse each day I get closer to 9/14. I’m struggling at work because I constantly want to cry and vomit from the anxiety (which is completely new since my appointment last week when my doctor refused to talk about it). I’m sorry if it sounds stupid but, not at least having some form of a conversation about birth with my doctor is stressing me out to the point that I’m having nightmares and it feels like I can’t function. I’m almost 33 weeks and the doctor’s response when I tried to ask if we could talk about birth as he was walking out the door prematurely was “it doesn’t work that way, just count backwards 21 days from your due date and be ready”.

I’m so frustrated. I don’t want to be learning about what to expect from books and forums, I want to talk to my doctor about it. I feel like they’re just going to bulldoze me when delivery comes and not listen to me at all the way they haven’t listened this entire pregnancy. I don’t know what else to do.