Parenting help

I have a 21 month old son. He is the sweetest and brightest son. However, he can be terrible. He says ‘no’ it seems that’s the only word he knows (joking). I want to start teaching him right from wrong. What is acceptable to what is not. He throws major temper tantrum when he is so upset I can see his chest rise up and down as he takes deep breaths. He throws food on the floor, so I take it away and he has to clean the mess. We started to realize this is an issue because he also does this in public. He climbs on chairs, windowsills and tables. We do time outs but it doesn’t work. I will hold him and hug him in time out and he will hit me- pushing me away. My daughter doesn’t act like this but he does. So, what are some tricks for parenting him. I’ve read tons of articles, but haven’t seem to find the golden trick.