im due any time now and me and my fiance want it to be a very personal, private birth with just us two. My parents have been very abusive mentally and physically my whole life (my mother even had the audacity to smack me across the face a few weeks ago and laugh saying it felt good) so our relationship is very limited due to their abuse never changing and being very manipulative and controlling..my mom also had me at 17 and now that im older gets jealous that im close to my aunts since were only a couple years apart and screams/throws fits over our relationships being "unhealthy" bc we are all 3 pregnant and got pics done and she FLEW off the handle that we are inconsiderate of her and she told us SHE did not want us to so how DARE WE do it anyways.. everyone is very extremely fed up with my mother and fathers abusive narcissistic behaviors...well we made it very very clear to everyone we werent going to be relaying much info regarding labor and delivery because we wanted to avoid our phones being blown up every day... which they still do. and my grandma asked if ive told my mother anything and i told her no, explained that she cannot respect that we want a private birth, constantly says she WILL be in that room, drives past our house every day now, sends her coworkers to my work to see if im still there ect and we just dont trust that she can handle the information without taking it too far and just showing up... well my gma responded with "ack, well its a really exciting time for everyone" and i honestly got really upset and just hung up. my mom and aunt are the only 2 with kids and for my siblings/cousin's birth EVERYONE in our family sat in the dang waiting room while they pushed and didnt even give them time for bonding before bursting into the room. my mom even had the audacity to sneak into my aunts room while she was pushing when she made it clear she didnt want her in there... my aunt also told me she felt her bonding was stripped away because by the time everything settled and she really sunk into the moment the nurses kept coming in saying our family was ready, is she ready yet? everyone else is ready how much longer? and she just gave in out of exhaustion dealing with it. me and my fiance DO NOT want that. we want to take our time and it be a very comforting, loving experience for us and our child. and everyone is making it seem like we're bad people for not wanting them up there because THEY are excited. which im glad, we're excited too.. but this is our first baby. this is our experience and i feel like that shouldnt be disrespected just because they feel entitled to my birth..its not like im going to disappear over night with the baby or not let them come up the next day/night when we are all settled.. am i being selfish? i feel like its just basic respect for another's experience that we may not ever get again...