Who does this?

Rant: and a little long. Bare with me.

I had complete placenta previa.

3 months... yes I said it, 3 god forsaken unfuckable in every way for months.

Go to the dr yesterday and I get the clearance that placenta FINALLY moved enough to get it on. Mind you my appt was an hour away.

Think he asks how my appt went? Nope.

So fuck em im not telling him. He can read what fb update I wrote.

Today, he as always is complaining he busts his ass working yada yada. I just open a cleaning business, was on work restrictions, had shingles last month and now have siatic nerve issues I literally haven’t felt my leg all week. But I don’t work 40 hrs, I can work 10 and make almost what he makes, so at 7m pregnant I shouldn’t be crabby or complain because he works so hard.

Ok back to the bangin business!!

He gets home from work and in a good mood. YAY, still doesn’t ask about the appt. throws on his paint clothes and goes to help a friend paint. They stop for a beer after. Ok cool, I made banana bread, the kids are both gone... I’m finally feeling myself and that it time to clean out the cobwebs, so i sent him a pic that said too bad you didn’t ask how my appt went. I called and said look at you text. He reads it, and I hit send on this pic. This is 930. He’s like omfg I’m coming home right now. So I turn on some vibe music and wait.

And wait

And wait

And wait.

1130 I get pissed, drive to the bar and his truck is gone. His friend is hammered and walking with some random girl and says no he’s in the bar. She says wait, that guy has a gf? I held my hand up and said ugh yes and showed my ring and that I was 7m preggo. She’s like he doesn’t act like it. His friend swears he’s been playing blackjack and it was their other friend and she says well maybe but idk.

Sober chick didn’t know us and asked if I would take drunk friend home, ya it’s a block thanks girl. Drop him off. Then I go to the bar, yoga pants and sweatshirt hair up no makeup and glasses on, no BRA Or panties... and He’s not there. She sees me and says I have no clue where he went.

Alright mofo I’m texting him.

No reply.

Fine I’m getting McDonald’s before my anxiety gets me and he doesn’t have windows or tires left when I find him.

He calls finally 1230 says I’ll be home soon and hangs up on me.

Ummmmm excuse you mother fucker do you want to live to see the daylight tomorrow?

So I snap on him via text.

Nothing.

No responses.

430 in the god damn morning I wake up to him FINALLY HOME. he went to hang out with the guy I hate allegedly and that sober girl was lying. Mind you he worked at 6am for a half day. Good fuckin luck I didn’t make your lunch and if I would have rat poison would have been my choice. So he goes to work, probably still drunk I don’t care, lose this job and see where you put us.

Of course he blames it on drinking and gambling. Swears there was no female but come on! Really??

You haven’t gotten to have sex with the woman you plan to marry in 3 months and you stay out until 430 in the morning? Do I look like an idiot? You think I don’t know the game?! Boy BYE!

Sure made me feel my confidence level plummeted. Who does that?!

If I did something like that, omg the world would be flipped inside out.

I told him paybacks are a bitch. Watch me leave him with a baby while I go have a drink with my girlfriends. Mind you I’ve been pregnant a year already with a 2m break because we had a loss right before this one. So I’m LONG overdue. I literally don’t go anywhere and my only friend I see is the neighbor who is also pregnant. God I could go for a glass of wine with my girlfriends!

Now, i don’t even know what to think. What to do. I’m so mad. I work in a couple hours. I’m in physical pain and mentally drained from this mans drinking issue and poor choices. We are in our 30’s not 21. 2 months and we got a baby here. I guess I’m just prepared to raise another kid by myself.

I don’t even want to touch him now. And don’t want him to touch me. Sleep in the garage for all I care or one of them friends you think are so great to blow me off for or that bitch in the bar you claim didn’t talk to.

But this honey pot is closed for business!! I got a toy I’ll use it right next to him and tell him don’t look at me. At least I know I’ll get myself off.

Pic of what I sent tonight. Nothing special but I haven’t done a pic like this in 4 months.