How are men and some Women okay with just leaving their kids

Rant: I met my child father 3 years ago and we’ve just been friends with benefits I never wanted a relationship because I don’t want to be hurt. Well we’ve had one pregnancy scare where I missed my period. We had a long conversation about it and he was perfectly fine with us having a baby and he made sure I was okay during the whole thing. Turns out it was just because my birth control when I told him I wasn’t pregnant he got a little upset about it. Fast forward to this year. I got my birth control changed and he talked me into having sex. After we did it I went home and a couple days later he posted about his daughter that was about to be born I never knew about this daughter. So I cut all ties we never talked again until I found out I was pregnant😢 I told him and the only thing he could say was that it wasn’t his, I was lying and he gave me $700 to get an abortion and told me I needed to do it ASAP. I took the money and out it away for the baby and never got an abortion. It just makes me so upset how happy he is with his daughter and the child’s mom and acts like my daughter completely doesn’t exist. He’s never seen an ultrasound doesn’t know what her name is or anything. I feel like such a horrible mom. I’m so ashamed of myself and I so sad I’m bringing a child into this world who will never know her dad who lives in the same city as us 15 mins away.