Idek what to name this just know I’m sad 😞

I just have a miscarriage last night i was about 5-6 weeks pregnant and I’m having mixed emotions like i wanna cry I’m on the verge of crying but it won’t come out. Like I’m really relieved i lost it and didn’t have to get a abortion i knew but didn’t want it but also didn’t want to kill it either 😔🤦🏽‍♀️ because i have a 3 month old and I’m just physically and mentally not ready for that right now but I’m still heart broken. Like i just flushed my baby down the toilet 😭💔 i saw the lil buds starting to form hands and feet. And i know i lost it because of me it’s my all my fault like i wasn’t taking care of myself I’m overwhelmed and stressed and....

I just needed somewhere to post this and somebody to talk to about it😞💔