It’s been 6 months since I left my husband and I’m still hurting.

My husband (ex) and I got married oct 2017 and separated shortly after I gave birth to our first child, a beautiful babygirl. Once I had my daughter... everything changed. He wasn’t the father I always pictured him to be or the husband I thought I had. He started “working” every chance he could get, picking up late shifts, rejecting me, and was just simply not even around. That was a huge red flag to me that he was up to no good. So I put my guard up and at that point was already looking for clues that he had someone else. He wouldn’t have sex with me and if I tried he would jump right away and move away from me. It was heartbreaking to me I felt so insecure... i had just had a baby and i was very overweight. So I just sometimes would try and shake stuff off with “maybe he just doesn’t find me attractive right now” but I still kept look at the signs.. turns out... he was cheating on me. Leaving was one of the hardest options for me but I still kept maybe just a little hope that he would fight hard for his family and show me that he would change.. although I always swore I’d never forgive a cheater. I loved him so much and I wanted my daughter to have a family that I thought maybe I could. I left to my parents a few days and all he could do was just text me that he was trash and that I could do better. He told me that he started cheating on me 2 months after I had our daughter (it took me a month to find out) a week after I went over to our house to pick up some more stuff for my baby and pick up some more of my stuff. I walked into our rooms bathroom to find used condoms in the trashcan. I was so heartbroken and in disbelief that he had already brought that hoe to my house and fucked her on my bed. I knew at that moment that I could never be with him again and it’s been 6 months and sometimes I feel fine and sometimes I still hurt a lot. I feel like lately it’s been hitting me even more...

He doesn’t work weekends but yet he only comes to see our daughter about 2x a month for about 3-6 hours which hurts me even more. I wish I could just disappear him out of our lives