Scared to Use the Toilet

I delivered my baby 2 months ago! But, I had a second degree tear, which means my skin and muscles of the perineum tore 😭. For about a month, I was bleeding and expecting A LOT of pain when going #2... I currently only experience the pain but no longer bleed (only sometimes). I have seen my OB twice and she only tells me to keep drinking my stool softeners, water, eat fiber, use preparation H cream, etc... none of these have helped.. was checked for external hemorrhoids but I don’t have any. I fear to use the restroom because the pain is so bad it makes me cry!

Has anyone experienced rectal pain for this long? Could it be internal hemorrhoid? My OB won’t check me for internal hemorrhoids..

What can I do? 😭😭 anything will be helpful!