Over his head, even when I'm blunt...
So, I have trouble initiating romantics due to past experiences with exes and when I try to initiate it takes so much to actually get anywhere. Today I flat out said I wanted to have fun tonight before he went to work, I guess he didn't register it as serious or it just plain went over his head. Honestly it really hurt emotionally and put a hefty crack in my sexual confidence. I have incredibly low self esteem and almost zero confidence as is, but when I'm so absently turned down I can't help but feel undesirable and I know he doesn't mean anything by it; sadly that doesn't really change the effect it has. He's my world and my rock and I'd never change a thing about him, I just wish he'd pay a little more attention when I finally get the courage to try.
Thanks to any ladies that choose to read, I appreciate you all and just really needed to say it.
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