Ranting/Venting; Stressing over everything
Let’s begin with the fact that I’m currently 30w pregnant with our son and this pregnancy was unwanted. I’m 10 weeks away from giving birth and I still wish I never got pregnant to begin with. (I’ll explain later on)
My daughter was born early August 2017, and in November/December we had a pregnancy scare. I did not want to be pregnant, after 3 negative tests, I insisted on getting on birth control but my SO kept coming up with excuses not to take me to the doctors to get on it. I asked for weeks. Then before I even got pregnant again, I was trying to suggest that if I did get pregnant, I’d want an abortion. I never came out and said it, and the whole conversation was mistaken and he said he’d want to keep it and take care of the baby. I should have just been blunt. 🙄 Anyways, come February and I get pregnant. Then things rolled too fast and here we are. 10w from delivery.
Now, all my other stresses come from our living situation. To start, there are 8 of us in a 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom house. Our son will be number 9.
It’s me, my SO, and our daughter. Soon our son.
His parents. His sister, her boyfriend, and their son.
Our daughter is 13 months and there son is 17 months. Which is a problem itself because he tends to bully her, she just learned to walk and isn’t as good as he is but he will literally push and shove her to the ground. He even does it when she’s crawling or sitting. And SIL gets mad when we don’t want our daughter playing with him.
SIL definitely needs to be on some form of medicine, knows it but refuses to go because she thinks they’ll take her son. She has severe anger issues and she can flip like a switch. All it takes is one “wrong” comment and she’s pissed off and yelling for the rest of the day(s). Nobody can joke with her without her taking it completely wrong and turning it into a fight.
Also, since she has a son, she thinks she automatically knows everything about boys and has already attempted to tell us what to do and how to care for him.
We also have already said when our son is born, he’s staying in the room and he’s not going to be out in the playroom where everybody else is. Her son is unpredictable when it comes to throwing, hitting, pinching and our son will literally be a newborn and I’m not having him getting beat on just because she wants him out there??? He’ll be sleeping a lot of the time and it’s not like he can play. He will just be safer in the room. But she’s gotten butt hurt over that many times.
We both desperately want to move out. Me more than my SO. This is another reason I’ve hated my entire pregnancy and getting pregnant to begin with. I could have had a job by now and we could have already been in the process of moving. But he didn’t want me to work through pregnancy and after the baby is born, I probably would have had to quit anyways. (Back when I’m our daughter was 4 months, I got my dream job and had to quit after 2 days because he couldn’t handle it.😒) anyways. So, I just saw that repeating. But this time around, after my 6w check up, I’m starting to put in applications everywhere. Here’s where other stresses occur.
I only want to work nights. I refuse to work during the day because 1) I don’t want my SO trying to juggle two babies then insist I quit. 2) SIL has a problem over stepping boundaries and I’m not trying to let her play momma while I’m working. 3) It will be easier for my SO because the kids should be sleeping for the most part.
I just wish we could get out. That would fix 95% of the issues. I don’t get along with his sister at all and I’m just tired of living with a toxic person. It’s obvious we don’t like each other but this is the only living situation we have. My moms place is full of mold, my grandparents are awful with kids (abusive) and his grandparents smoke all in the house and they have 2 dogs that are huge and very rough. Not safe for a baby to be around.