LENGTHY POST AHEAD!!

I have been with my husband for 7 years, married for almost 3. We have a 16 month old son together and I am currently 22 weeks pregnant with a little girl. First off let me say, I am not necessarily saying I am not grateful for my mother in law, just that well...okay just read on.

So my MIL and FIL have been married for 30 years, and their marriage is/has been anything except ideal. He takes advantage of her, runs around on her, and isn’t involved with my husband or our child’s lives. My MIL is a very “father-like” type mother- meaning she has taken over the role of my husband’s father since early on in his life. When we were dating, my hubs wouldn’t really want anything to do them, just because he was so into trying to make a good impression on me and my family. Since we’ve gotten married, I’ve come to the conclusion that I believe my husband and his mother are involved to some degree in an emotionally incestuous relationship. By this I mean she lacks support, attention, affection, and possibly male interaction from my FIL and he in turn gives her those types of things as a husband/partner type role.

I’ll give you an example. We went on a beach vacation last year, my baby was 4 months old at the time. We went with my parents, my brother and his family, and my MIL. My FIL didn’t want to go. We ended up renting a condo and had to share a room with my MIL. First off we weren’t able to be physically or even emotionally romantic the entire time because we always had her there. Secondly, every single morning my husband would almost secretly wake up around 5 am, wake her up, and they would either go watch the sunset together or go walk on the beach, or go just sit out on the balcony together for HOURS. Not once was I invited- by her or him to go with them. I figured okay maybe they haven’t been able to spend time together since we’ve been married and they need some mother-son bonding time. Never brought it up that time just kind of let it go. So as my son got older, I had to return to work and then my husband would do things like take my son to the park with her, or take him over to her house and wouldn’t even ask he would just tell me about it later on.

We are currently on another beach trip, same destination, same condo, same living arrangement. My mother had offered my MIL a chance to get a 4 bedroom condo to allow us and her some privacy because she knows once second baby gets here we won’t have much. It would’ve been around 100$ more for a week. She declined, my husband was very against it. So when we first left for this trip, my hubs was fighting a stomach virus the whole 9 hour drive here. The first day we got here he rested off and on and then went to sleep around 10 pm. He woke up AGAIN at 5 am the following morning, snuck and took a a shower and got her up and they went and watched the sunrise...AGAIN. I wasn’t asked at all to go. My son has also been sick first with the same virus then with hand, foot, and mouth disease which has been a NIGHTMARE. He left me with our sick son, who hadn’t slept really in 2-3 days to go walk on the beach with his MOTHER. She came down with the same virus 2 days later and had to stay at the condo while we were out and about, but she still got up with my husband to spend their “alone time together.” I brought it up to him in a calm way and ended up crying but he told me he was sorry and blah blah blah. My mother and father also offered this go around to watch our son for a night and allow us to have some MUCH needed intimacy, but it’s not Thursday and we leave Saturday and NOT ONCE has he brought up the fact that he wants a night with out my MIL or our son in the room for a couple of hours. He told me last night he was going to get up at 5:00 am to go shark fishing this morning, which is fine. But when I heard his alarm going off, his mother was already in the shower putting hairspray in her hair. I asked him what she was doing and he replied “I don’t know why she’s up.” Well walked out of the room and she came out of the bathroom and asked me did i want to go down to the beach with them... I told her “who would watch our already sick and exhausted son?” And she just walked away. They are currently out on our balcony and I’m laying here brooding...do i have reason to be upset or am i just being crazy??