My stepfather moved in with me and my mother when I was 7. He woke me up for my first day of school by putting his hand down my pj pants and tried touching me and I was so tired I thought it was a dream. He used to grab my butt and make me kiss him. That was the beginning. When I was 12 things progressed. I’ve always been scared of the dark so I’d sneak into my moms room to sleep. It got to the point where he wouldn’t let me sleep in my own room. I had a room with all my stuff and if I slept in it then I’d get in trouble and while sleeping in there hedtry to touch me and once tried to use my moms vibrator on me. At one point, I got insomnia so bad I couldn’t sleep. I’d be wide awake at 4am crying because I had school the next day and I knew I’d be so exhausted and tired so he would take one of his ambien and give it to me and I’d pass out and wake up the next day with my pants folded on the table next to my bed. I asked why they were there and he’d say I took them off. He’d ask me if I remembered anything from last night and all I’d remember is going to bed. He then made me French kiss him. He pulled me out of bed one night and told me that I could be his second wife. That I could get anything I wanted. I just had to be a good wife. I didn’t know what the expectations of being a good wife was until the expectations were being forced. When I was 14, he made me take naked photos of myself. Ones in my mothers lingerie, ones of me touching myself, ones of just me naked. I wasn’t allowed to leave the house or go to friends or participate in my school activities like colorguard or band or flute practice unless I gave him those photos. I would take hundreds of photos just to get away from him as long as possible. He was finally encarserated when I was 14. He tried to rip me out of school and make me live with my dad and my friend told the principal she thought something was up and he ended up not sending me so the principal questioned me about it and I lied at first and told him the truth. Now throughout the 7years this had been happening if I didn’t do these things he’d threaten to make me move in with my father in which I’d have no friends because I wasn’t allowed to make any. I’d have to do online school to ensure that. I’d never have a phone to keep in contact with my mother and my brother as well. And my dads somewhat abusive so I didn’t want to go. After he was encarserated they questioned me and when they went to talk to him they came back and asked me if I was sure I told them everything and I did. Turns out, those times my pants were folded on the nightstand he had sex with me in my sleep while I was unconscious. He had hundreds of videos from the time I was 7 till I was 14. After that I found out I was pregnant with my now two year old son, and there was a video of him having sex with me the weekend before he was arrested which was the same weekend I had stayed with my boyfriend (not in my stepdads knowledge of course) so I didn’t know if my son was my boyfriends or his. When my mom found out I was pregnant she sent me to my dads for 6 months convinced I had been lying because my step father convinced her I was out of control. So she thought I had lied about everything. She didn’t know any better I never told her what was going on and she never knew. But after I had my son we had him tested and if I never went with my boyfriend that weekend, my son would’ve been my stepfathers child. I have no memory still of the times he had sex with me while unconscious. And I’ve seen only two of the over 100+ videos. There’s no faces so I try to convince myself it isn’t me. Who knows maybe it isn’t me. But I wish I could hear it from him that that is me. Or remember something so I knew finally if that truly is me.