To summarize my 13 month old son has SEVERE separation anxiety (if left with a sitter he would cry all 6 hours only stopping to throw up from crying, sleep, or take bottle).

He wasn't allowed in the daycare we wanted to put him in because of this. We have an amazing nanny now that is helping but she's only here for 3 more months. With her he'll now play for maybe 2 of the 5 or 6 hours instead of cry... but that's still not where we want him to be and it's isolated to her. If we leave him with a different babysitter, even grandma who he sees often, he's back to nonstop crying.

On a side note, he's not like this because we pick him up too much or spoil him. He's this way because of a difficult start in life medically. He was in severe non stop pain the first few months of his life and missed out on learning coping skills like when a typical baby does.

We kiss, hug, and hand him over. Sometimes I'll see him for a few minutes during my lunch break (the nanny watches him in a play room at my work).

So, things are very slowly getting better with just the nanny but we have limited time it's not generalizing. I know what I would do with a 3 year old but don't know if 13 months is too young to try this with. That and I'm afraid to undo the success we've already had with just the nanny.

He's my question:

I want to try randomly popping into the playroom with the nanny a few times a day to play and then leave so that he gets used to me coming and going.

Is he too young to try this?

Yes means he's too young for this and wouldn't understand and would only be traumatized/make things worse

No means you think he'll grasp the concepts and wont be traumatized by this and it will really help

Also, anyone have any better suggestions?

Thank you guys for your help :)