Keeps calling me fat!

So disclaimer: I m out of shape, haven’t gotten back in shape since I had my baby 6 months ago. I mean, I’m like 10 pounds from my pre pregnancy weight so it’s something, but not feeling good about my body atm. I know I need to lose it through diet and exercise which I’m slowly getting into, so please don’t start with that.

Last week, I was feeling really self conscious about my body and I know he looks at pictures and videos of pretty girls (he told me it’s just a habit and knows how I feel about it) so when I think of that I feel worse. So I thought I’d tell him how I feel. He didn’t know what to say (as usual) so we were just quiet for a while. Then literally 10 minutes afterwards, I’m holding our baby and he sees my upper arms looking flabby in short sleeves (they’re flabby but my wrists and hands are small, weird right?) and goes “what’s that in your arms? Is that fat?” And I know that’s nothing to a lot of ppl but damn did I get so self conscious about that!! And this is ten minutes after I told him how I was feeling about my body!! Ughhh

Then tonight, I ask if he could rub my back but he was rubbing too hard and it hurt so I told him and he goes “well all I feel is fat what else am I supposed to do?” Omg I just stormed off.

Now I know I’ll hear oh then just lose weight, or he’s just saying that or whatever. But this got me so mad! I don’t get mad at him too easily but it feels so mean he says that after I tell him how self conscious I feel about my body right now!

So now I’m crying and wiping my tears with my apparently fat arms. :(