I don’t know if I’m lonely or just yearning for something...

Over the past few years I’ve been in a space where I’ve had to be the “strong” one and “perfect” and basically all these unrealistic things for my family (it’s been rough) but now that the storm has passed and I’m getting into “normal” life I find myself craving intimacy and simply wanting to be vulnerable. I’m making friends (both sexes) but for some reason I feel like I need male energy around me in an intimate non sexual way. Maybe my pride won’t let me admit that I might be lonely but I just want a night that involves pajamas, movies, popcorn and deep conversation (maybe tears and all). Topped of with cuddles and giggles. I’m 22 and never had a BF and now I’m tired of having to hold everything thing in. I feel like I’m gonna explode! I’m sorry I know this is random but I just need to get this off my chest because I’m celibate but also enjoy my sensuality so I always struggle with that but it is not to just want to be held at times? As far as my individual life and working on myself I feel whole and am not able to focus on my dreams and goals but feel like I NEED deep affection I don’t think I’m depressed because I’m actually in a better place mentally than I’ve been in my entire life but I just feel like something missing..