Frustrated and feeling alone!
I am now 38W&4D... been showing signs of labor baby girl is 7lbs3oz and I am just so sad and frustrated at this point I have done everything to get things moving faster my doctor said she thought I was going to have her either today or yesterday and I’ve been having contractions like crazy I spent all night last night at the hospital was there for 6 hours consistent contractions every 3 min I am 4cm 85% effaced and baby is at -1 station I even had my bloody show and bleeding they were surprised I didn’t dilate another cm while there, they said they can feel the sac and baby’s head but they still sent me home. What has me even more sad is that my sister came down from Georgia thinking it was time and trying to get away from hurricane Michael just in case I did give birth (mind you she is the only family I was going to have by my side while giving birth) my mom is stationed in Seattle for training and is unable to leave (I’m in Florida). my grandma is going through surgery so she is unable to move around, and I do have my fiancé but at this point I am so frustrated with him, I feel like since this is our second time around he doesn’t feel the need to comfort me, he could care less if I had anyone there, he doesn’t even seem to have some consideration for much pain I’m in or how down I feel, I will be having contractions while he’s laying down and he will ask me to do things and sometimes I wouldn’t mind but now I’m just so over it I feel so alone this time around I am balling my eyes out knowing my sister is leaving tomorrow and if she does, she won’t be able to come back because of work and college and I hate to think that I will be having my baby with no support team there...Ive been so ready to have my daughter here! I have walked, I have had sex, I have squated, went up and down stairs, I have been using my birthing ball, I have used EPO, I’ve drank raspberry leaf tea, I have even gotten so desperate I did the midwives brew TWICE!! And still just contracting on a regular and in so much pain but stuck at a 4! I was progressing so well 35 Weeks 2 cm, 37 Weeks 2 1/2 cm 38 Weeks 4 cm in just a few days and now I’m at that stand still I really thought it was time but I guess you can never really know in these situations. . . I’m just sick of people asking me or even telling me today’s the day what’s the update just let me be I don’t even want to talk about it anymore!! I just had to let it out somewhere 😢😩
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