(LONG READ) Am I a bad person for considering doing this? PLEASE READ BEFORE ANSWERING!
I have stage 3 breast cancer. In a few weeks I am temporarily moving out of town for treatments. 200 miles away from my home and about 150 miles from any sort of family. I need to stay in this city in a cancer shelter for at least 2 month as of right now. So this is the scenario I wanna run past you of if I’m a bad person for what I’m thinking.
My dad got remarried and his wife is terrible. Besides the point my dad’s new life revolve (and when I say revolves I mean REVOLVES) around his new family. He barely speaks to me even, let alone visits which they live out of town but come into town at least 3 times a week and I mean I have cancer and I’m his only biological daughter. But his step children mean more to him now. So he never helps me anymore. I don’t get birthday cards, Christmas cards, money for any holiday but he just bought my step sister $300 worth of new clothes, helped my step brother take his AC out of his window, and loaned my other step brother his own truck for months. This is what I’m setting up here. I need sports bras for my mastectomy picked out $6 bras 4 of them. He tells me he cannot afford it. After buying my step sister all her clothes, I need help getting my ACs out of my windows, he cannot help. I have a vehicle that is literally a death trap and he won’t help me with parts or maybe fixing it or I just don’t know ANYTHING WOULD HELP AT THIS POINT. I don’t even know how to google the parts I need. But he can take his wife and new kids on vacations like 6 times this summer. I wasn’t invited once because “I have cancer and I might be too ill to enjoy anything” I’m pretty sure my stepmom is controlling him. But not the point of this poll.
Anyways so all of them are sh!t people. I got one cool brother out of this (he’s going to be watching my cats while I’m in surgery. He became one of my best friends)
I also made out with some AMAZING step grandparents. Every year for my birthday and Christmas they give me $40-200 combined at thanksgiving because my birthday is right around thanksgiving. So here’s where I’m thinking about being a bad person. My surgery is November 7th. I will miss thanksgiving, my birthday, Christmas, and New Years at least and I never miss these holidays with all of them. (Even though my dad is an ass and forgets I pretty much exist. I still go to all holiday gatherings for food really and to see my step grandparents who are so good to me. I just lost my last bio grandpa last year so they are all I have left and they didn’t need to take me in and feed me and always give me presents. But I feel bad right now...
I really need a new winter jacket. BAD. I also need to mention I live in the Midwest (USA) where we freeze in the winter. And I need boots bad too. With chemo my feet are swollen and my boots from last year don’t fit. I was thinking of calling my step grandparents and telling them all about the surgery stuff going on in the next month and slip in maybe getting my birthday, thanksgiving, and Christmas cards to me early and sh!t I don’t even care if I get a dime in it it would be nice to have some cards to get me through the holidays while I’m alone. I would really hope they could get me my birthday money to me early though (IF THEY ARE EVEN GIVING ME SOME) so I can go to Goodwill and get a jacket and boots. or my thoughts would be to bring it up that I need a jacket and boots and I would purchase it from goodwill. I don’t really know what to do here. If the birthday money doesn’t plan out I plan on still finding a jacket and boots even if it means going on Facebook and begging for them. It just would be nice to buy my own. I also have no income because of cancer. Been applying for disability for a long time. I live with my fiancé and he works all day just to keep our apartment paid for and we go to pantries for food. I have foodshare but it’s only for me because of my special cancer diet. So we don’t have money to throw at literally anything and we are using our only extra money for me to get to the cancer place for my surgery. I’ll be staying in a place where only cancer patients receiving allowed to stay for low cost to free. It’s all donation ran. So I can figure it out when I’m there to do everything. The only part is getting me a jacket and boots before I leave. It already snowed here earlier this week!
So would I be a bad person for calling them myself and maybe explain? Or just “Hey if your planning on getting me cards this year can you sent them early? Like before I leave?” Or just outright “normally you give me money for my birthday and I was hoping to get it early if you were still planning on giving me any because I need a jacket and boots from a second hand store before I go out of town for my surgery and will be gone for 2-3 months” and if they said they weren’t giving me money be like “Well I still want the cards so I can keep them with me out of town while I’m gone because I will miss you guys.”
Im just an awkward and terrible human being I feel.
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