it’s been a while ago but i still can’t let it go.

we were on a party and i had drunk too much and i was not feeling well, because i hadn’t eaten much that evening. so my ex brought me to his house ( i couldn’t even walk and talk anymore ) and put me in his bed. so i fell asleep but later i was woken up by him, and he started to do things to me and eventually had sex with me. i never said no to him but knew that i didn’t want to have sex with him. ( i was a virgin and wanted to wait ). but he told me that i asked for a condom and that he still had feelings and that it was the reason why he did it. but i can’t remember anything because i blacked out, so anything he told me could have been made up. and i feel so terrible and dirty. i really didn’t want it, i don’t remember anything of that night and is it my fault? because i didn’t stop him?