It’s hard when..

It’s hard when you call things off with your fiancé ( we’ve been together 4 years before getting engaged ) then he moves states and all the sudden you can’t see yourself wanting kids or marriage anymore and you’re completely okay with it.... until you go to visit him because your still friends and just as fast as that feeling left it’s backs again and you want the kids and can see yourself driving around town with a messy backseat with loud kids in the backseat throwing gold fish at each other! We’ve been apart for 7 months and during that time I had dated other guys just to try and see if I could see that happily ever after with someone and nothing. He’s the only one I can see it with. Is that strange?