Failure

I am so sad you guys. I have been such a stickler for no one kissing my baby but I think I have herpes on my areola from breastfeeding. Everything adds up except the look of the bumps. I am heart broken. I feel like such a failure. My baby got sick Oct 6 I took him to DR & they said viral but the little guy refused to eat. It hurt him to swallow. I would put the bottle in his mouth to see & he’d num on it so it wasn’t his mouth, just his throat. He even refused the boob at first until the very end of it. It lasted about 4 days. Fever, hurt to swallow/refusal to eat, swollen lymph nodes, drool, irritability. I think it was his initial outbreak. No sores on face just some spots I noticed in the very back of his throat that I had to try really hard to get him to let me see. I am so depressed and feel so gross and like such a bad mom 😞 I am pregnant with #2 & my dream is to extended breast feed but I have supply issues now that I was hoping would get better my second go around. I am heartbroken 😞