Depressed

I know this sounds awful... but I’m currently 8 DPO. This cycle I used conceive plus to help w swimmers, Geritol, fish oil pills, mucinex. I also bd Every single day of my fertile week bc I didn’t want to take any chances. But even though I feel like I did everything right, I’m still dreading taking a test bc I just feel like we have already been trying for a yr and a half with NO luck. Why would this time be any different???... I think I’m about to give up 😩 I want to be supportive of people getting their BFP but instead I just cry every time I see it , or Say well good for you. Ect . I feel like it will Never happen. 😭😭😭😭 I just want to have another baby, and my little girl just want a baby brother or sister SO bad.