Conflicted

Last Halloween I had my right Fallopian tube removed because it burst due to an ectopic pregnancy. In February my husband and I were allowed to start trying again. Well I’m August I was a week late, I went to the doctor and it came back negative and she put me on prenatal vitamins as a precaution. Af came right after I finished my appointment. Let down I still took the vitamins. Last month I didn’t miss a day. And I thought I was pregnant last month with nausea, dizziness and tiredness. However, AF came 3 days early. I was so heart broken. I don’t want to try this month and I stopped taking my vitamins. My husband know how bad I want a baby and this morning he asked if I’ve been taking them. I said no, what’s the point. He held me and said the point is you need to take them so your body gets everything you need to keep our baby here.

I don’t know I just feel like it’s never going to happen. And I’m tired of being let down. So I want to be done trying but I don’t want to give up on so easily. It’s just heart breaking every time you get that negative.