I just need to vent

Sorry ladies I need to vent and let it out I have no one else to go to

Okay I'm a single mom of 3 I live with my sister because I'm slowly working on my life again anyways the issue here is my so called "mother" let me say my mom hates me not that I'm a bad daughter she hates me takes her anger out on me ever since my dad left her 14 years ago y'all 14 YEARS an she still treats me like shit I was so closed to my dad and I'm still close to him and since she can't take her anger out on him or anyone else she does it on me. So growing up as a teen I will always be away from home cus I would get shit talked hit whatever from till I had enough and started to defend myself I would feel depressed suicidal cus of her and I still do feel that way. Anyways today this was my issue. My son said a cuss word I got him in trouble she said "hit him" I'm like I can't hit him I can hardly yell at my kids cus you yell at me for being a "bad mom" then she's like wait when ur kids get older they are gonna hit you I said my kids will never him me I will get them in bootcamp so she said when did I ever do that to you I was like that's cus you never wanted an u could of then she's like no I don't need to call the cops on you I have something better than that I've been planning it so long

Mind y'all she has tried killing me before. She says I'm a hoe a slut. Y'all I'm home all day except when I go to work. She always makes me feel like a nobody less of a person I feel so depressed I feel like I'll be better off dead by the way she treats me. IM SORRY It's long I just needed to vent cus my chest is really hurting I can't take it. I have no one else to go to. This is my MOTHER ladies my own MOTHER. I feel like shit I feel so worthless .