Stillborn at home :(

Today my worst fears came true. 13 weeks and 3 days. I woke up around 4 am in horrible pain that I had been having for a couple days and passing huge blood clots. I had the baby in the toilet thinking it was another big clot but was in so much shock made my SO take it out and wrap it up. I had to give him up for testing and now Im finally home from the hospital but even the drugs cant make stop seeing my baby's little body in my head.