Why???????

I hate this I just want my little pains in the bits back I miss them so much. My husband dosen't understand why I keep looking mad I an not trying but to I am trying to not cry. He got mad at me for wanting to go to the store we dont need anything I just dont want to be home and have nothing but questions running around in my mind. I miss my girls if I was still pregnant they would be kicking and turning and stuff. My aunt called and told me that she had her baby yesterday and I got mad told her to go away and not call me I didn't mean it and I feel like shit now. I dont know what I did to lose my girls. How do I stop crying and getting angry for no reason.